I'm having a fucking awful day. Seriously, I can't even get into it and I'm barely coherent enough. This isn't some bullshit "boohoo my boyfriend left me" drama or some crap like that. It's real life, awful, hard shit. But, a horrid day doesn't mean a day off from work. Bills need to be paid, even when I'd rather be in a ball sobbing, and so I go on cam. God, even my fucking writing style is suffering right now. It's 4 am and even after some meds to calm me, I still can't find sleep. It just won't come tonight, but at least all the freaks that I did cam shows for did.
Okay, I shouldn't call them all freaks. I'm just in a foul mood. But...to be fair, a few of them were freaks. I must have done at least 5 or 6 private shows in a row tonight, with only a few minutes between each. I had to turn it on, turn it off, turn it on (the hitachi AND my "charm") and it was exhausting. I made great money, but I was bitter and tired. The demands, the stupidity. I had to role play (solo) incest, I dealt with two whiny demanding assholes, and THANKFULLY with a couple of really nice easy-going guys.
Why am I even complaining? It was just another typical night in Webcam Land. Nothing unusual, and I made more money than usual. I guess I'm complaining because I just didn't feel like going to work, and I went anyways. It's as simple as that, and that's a pretty typical human experience (well, at least in the modern western world).
I guess what bugged me was that the demanding asshole clients didn't know or care about what I'm going through, the hellish day that I've had. The bad news that I got today and the fear I'm experiencing. Even if they did, they wouldn't give a shit. They'd just want to get off. And really- who fucking cares? That's the job description. Meh, some nights are just rough and this was one of them.
I'll be back at it tomorrow, because I have to be. No rest for the wicked, or for full-time cam sluts.
