Adventures in Webcam Land aren't always all laughter, lubricant, and orgasms. Sometimes my cunt gets angry at my clients, and let me tell you about the shit that gets it pissed the fuck off. Here's a short, but continuously growing, list:
My cunt gets mad when you tell it to take something that's way too big for it. A zucchini. The head of my hitachi. The large end of the hair brush (are you fucking serious, idiot?). A wine bottle (again, the bottom). Unacceptable.
My cunt gets mad when you tell it how it likes to cum. "Put the hitachi on high speed the whole time." No, mother fucker, do you want me to burn my clit right off? You probably do. You'd probably pay to see that, and you wouldn't give a shit that it hurt.
My cunt gets mad when I've just started a private show and you want it to come out to play. Literally, within 3 seconds of beginning the show. Whoa, buddy, slow down. Don't you think I at least deserve to make 40 cents before I whip it out?
My cunt gets mad when you tell it what to wear.
My cunt gets mad when you tell it how to do its hair. No, I didn't mean for that to rhyme, it just happened. But really, I don't give a shit how you like it. Sometimes I'm shaved, sometimes I'm lazy aka furry.
My cunt gets mad when you tell me to shove my dildo in and it's not properly lubricated yet. Clearly, you've never been with a real woman. Thank god for the interwebs, right buddy?
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